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None of that helped my mood.The lack of obviously cookable stuff in the refrigerator was no help,either. There was some lettuce for a salad, but I was out ofleftovers. I made do with some canned soup and a frozen entree reheatedin the microwave. At least it wasn't gruel, I thought, harking back tothe "Scrooge" remarks of my co-workers that afternoon.TV wasn't much better than the fridge, except it did have leftovers, inthe form of reruns. St. Olaf's 1989 Christmas concert, for example.And "The Little Drummer Boy." How does one turn a 90-second song into afull-length television program, anyway?So I got caught up on some reading, checked on the televised weatherreport (until they got caught up in NORAD's report of an "unidentifiedflying object leaving the North Pole"), and turned in early. * * *For some reason, I hadn't slept well. Usually, on Christmas Eve,there's no traffic anywhere, at least unless one is near a church thatholds midnight services, and I wasn't. But some. . holy shit, mom. Tim said you looked young, but, My God, Girl ... let me look at you. Junior?!? Come down here." Aw mom, do I have to?" an extremely familiar voice echoed down the stairway next to the kitchen door. "I've almost won!!" It's your Gramma Wendy, Junior ... be prepared for a shock." Too hollered up the staircase, "Wake up your Dad and Granpa on the way down." She turned to Wendy, "Wendy, your husband is here. I don't know how he's going to take this." She wiped her face on the towel. "You know he's got a bad heart. That's why I got the 'Illusion' (IL-14). He lost his certificate." David is here?" croaked Wendy. She sat down. Fortunately, there was a chair behind her. She turned pretty white.A voice from the stairway spoke up, "Grandmother? Naw, mom. It's like looking in a mirror ... except I've got bigger boobs..." Junior sashayed over to Tim and Wendy, "Hi Tim." She struck a 'going on twenty sex bomb pose.'"Practicing that in the mirror, have you? You don't have the.
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