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Mom probably forgot to go shopping yesterday after work. I bet she'll remember after yoga and stop at Wholefoods on the way home, I thought. Since the selection was scarce I just downed a whole glass of OJ and headed out back to the yard. Our house was in a Cul de Sac, an upper middle-class suburb, forty-five minutes outside Dallas. While it wasn't a mansion or anything spectacular, we did have a rather nice yard, which I was responsible for. And so I pulled the lawn mower out from under the back porch, ripped off my shirt, tossed it on the railing, threw on the ear muffs for the noise and began mowing under the scorching sun. Even though mowing the whole lawn only took about thirty minutes, I found my mind wandering as I strolled behind the whirring hum of the motor. At sixteen and a sophomore in high school with a promising college swim career, I was unsure of my future. My coaches, scouts, my teammates, my mom all told me I had the potential to swim Divison 1A and do well,. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.What can I do?Signed, DesperateThe response (that came weeks later out of the blue):Dear Desperate,First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2. Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta version. Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources. In addition, please do.
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