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The worst was over, I thought. I had said everything I wanted to say. I had held back everything I didn't want to say. I dangled hope in front of her, but with little room for negotiation.There was nothing pleasant or elevating about what I had just done. I had pummeled her with my words as surely as if I had used my fists. I could see the effect of my blows. After a while, she had simply absorbed them as I delivered. There was no sign of fight on her part.I should have felt better. I should have felt relieved, possibly even elated. I didn't. I did what I thought was necessary to shock my wife into thinking about us. Our marriage. Our relationship. Our future. I left her no way out. On Friday, I would probably know if we had any future.I thought about who I was and what I wanted. Did I want this marriage to continue? Did I love Edie? I deliberately avoided telling her I loved her. I wasn't sure myself and so it was better not to mislead her if I had lost that love. How would I know?. He sat stiff like a rock letting her be the sea crashing onto him. ‘Okay. I’ll pull myself together. I might screw my life badly if I don’t show up on my first day at the new college.’ Randalf roused to his feet and unwrapped Sandra’s embrace. He walked back inside of the house, the little two bedroom furnished only by a dining table with two chairs. The red porcelain coffee cup had a cutesy slogan: ‘How do I like my coffee? Handed to me!’ Now, it was pulverized into little white pieces with a mostly intact handle. Next to it was a brownbag with a message in feminine writing that had big loops in the letters: ‘For my best brother – XOXO’ He reached out to grab the bag. The bag lifted for a moment into the air to slip out of his limp fingers and roll on the floor. With slumped shoulders, Randalf looked at it dejected for a good ten seconds. Then he walked out of the door. The footpath of moss covered stone plates led across a lawn of unkempt clothes and a clothing line spider with.
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