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Besides, when he was home, she was constantly fucking his brains out. She had to be the most cock-hungry woman he had ever heard of. So they moved west.Obviously, they didn't move far enough or to a place where it would be safe to trust Judith. Tom returned early from a trip to Helena and found Judith and the handy man in his bed. The handy man was fucking judy's brains out and she was returning his thrusts with equal enthusiasm. Tom shot the handy man is the ass with his shotgun, forgetting that it was loaded with bird shot rather than buckshot.The handy man jumped on his horse and escaped without to much injury. The same couldn't be said for Judith. Tom took his shaving strop and beat her ass until she was bleeding. In the end, she promised to never cheat on him again.Of course, the next time a drummer came to the farm, she screwed him for several hours while Tom was out in the field. That same thing happened twice more before Tom caught her with the Indian. He actually sneaked up. Baptist (fundamentalism) 2: Shit happens because the Bible says so.Baptist (southern): Shit will happen. Praise the lord!Behaviorism: Shit is conditioned to happen.Born Again-ism: Shit Happens, but I am saved.Buddhism 1: If shit happens, it is not really shit.Buddhism 2: If shit happens, it isn’t really happening TO anyone.Buddhism 3: Shit will happen again to you next time.Buddhism 4: What is the sound of one shit happening?Buddhism 5: Shit will happen to you again.Buddhism 6: Only he who totally gives up the desire for shit will have salvation.Calvinism 1: Shit happens because you don’t work hard enough.Calvinism 2: Shit is predestined to happen.Calvinism 3: If you’re not saved, tough shit.Canine-ism: Shit happens in the neighbor’s yard.Cannibalism: Don’t eat the shit.Capitalism 1: That’s MY shit!Capitalism 2: If you’re going to sell that shit, at least make a profit.Capitalism 3: How much is that shit?CargoCult: A barge will come and take all the shit away.Catholicism 1: Our shit.
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