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That’s GREAT!” he whooped. “Does your mom know? Have you felt anything else like ... like ... Shit, just anything else?”“No, my mom doesn’t know, and I’ve been miserable ever since Jennifer ran to the bus crying when I tried to tell her.”“Tell her what? Do you love her?” Joey said, settling down from his excitement.“No ... I want to, but only if she can love me back. I feel so helpless.”“You? Helpless? Come on, Tim. You’re the most un-helpless person I’ve ever known. Just think it to her if nothing else. Once she got over the shock...”“She’s immune to it,” I said simply, sinking down to the floor against the lockers in that hall. “I can read her thoughts, but I can’t send her mine. And I’m afraid to use my empathy on her. She’s so delicate, so lonely ... I can’t risk permanently hurting her by making her feel what I’m feeling.”“Shit,” Joey said, sinking down beside me. “That does make it harder.”“I just want to talk with her,” I said to break the silence. “She has the most incredible. Changing back into my 'guy' clothes went just as quick. Soon all was put away and returned and I was ready to go to dinner with two new friends, Janet and Lynn. Stephanie had somewhere else to be and couldn't stay for dinner.The rest of the evening was a casual dinner at a place called Wellington's. It is a very good restaurant that is CD friendly. The three of us had good food, good conversation and made two new friends each. We have even managed to stay in touch through e-mail and message boards.So what happened in the aftermath of this little experiment? I have waited for a little over a month to see what would happen. I have gone through the year end stresses of my business along with the added stresses of the holiday season. The result is there still has not been a desire to crossdress! I asked myself, just what does all this mean? I gave myself some questions and some answers.Knowing that the obsession to dress did not come back means to me that I truly have faced my own.
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