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I look up at Miley. "What's the matter Miley? I'm not a baby you know.You don't have to yell at me." Mom is making breakfast so come down before she goes to work," I hearMiley whining."Okay okay." I push the blankets off me. I rub my eyes forgetting thatI'm wearing a little girly pink Barbie nightgown, and I start walkingbehind Miley.Miley walks into the kitchen and we look up at mommy staring at us as wewalk in the room. "Good morning girls, you both look great thismorning,I mean kids." It's okay mommy, I know I'm wearing girl's clothes. Sometimes I feellike a girl walking around here wearing only girl's clothes." Mommylooks at me smiling as we both sit down at the kitchen table, and westart eating the food that mommy left for us.We start eating our breakfast, as we watch mommy. "Okay girls you begood today, good luck at work today Kelly. I hope you have a good dayand see you girls after work, love you." I don't think mommy even noticed that she called me a girl Miley, whatyou. The Encore DumpAhhh, you've done, so you wipe, dress, flush, wash hands and are about to leave the auditorium when you feel another dump coming on. You must therefore return for a curtain call. The world record is seven encores.....The Houdini DumpYou go, you stand to flush and it has disappeared! Did it creep down the pipe or did you dream the whole thing? Should you flush? Oh yes as you can guarantee that if you don't, it will reappear and smile at the next person who comes in.Sometimes when shit happens, you want to be able to articulate the experience more than just you've, taken a shit. Here are some shit definitions to help you explain the situation better to your friends and family...Ghost ShitYou know you've shit. There's shit on the toilet paper, but no shit in the bowl.Teflon Coated ShitComes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't feel it. No traces of shit on the toilet paper, you have to look in the bowl to be sure you did it!Gooey ShitThis has the consistency of hot.
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