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"I have read of your adventures with Mr Holmes for long and long and never thought I should meet you. As a colt he was so bold and brave and handsome ... I called him Watson."This time I really could see her colour rising in the firelight; I also felt nervous gooseflesh pricking beneath my palm while her nipples firmed into beautiful peaks."How flattering," I tried to play down how this admission affected me, but I couldn't avoid shifting in my chair to allow my manhood some more space as it surged with longing for the naked goddess laid out before me."I'd like you to go for a ride, Victoria," I said. "This adventure will occur in your imagination. You are approaching the stable; how are you dressed?" Am I to ride alone?" she asked."Yes, you are all alone," I replied. "With Watson." I tried to suppress the smile in case Palmerston was watching me."Then I shan't ride side-saddle," she said. "I don't enjoy it. If there are to be no men about then I would be wearing jodhpurs and a. I was so sad. There’s nothing like failing the people you love on a continual basis for your self esteem. Then my mind went to “This is really happening to me. I’m going away.” So I threw myself a pity party then I remember she had given me GRAPES! When I got home I could eat them. A small burst of joy went through me followed by FUCK! I’m living a Ralphie May comedy routine.Ralphie May had a routine where he talked about how happy retarded people were because they are pleased by simple things. While non-retarded people were unhappy because nothing ever pleased them.He asked, “Do you know how to make a retarded person happy? A Scooby-Doo lunch box and if they find a thermos of chocolate milk in it the motherfucker hit the lottery. While we couldn’t be happy because our Lexus wasn’t quite as new as our neighbor’s.I went from unhappy about a real world problem that affects every aspect of my life to instantly happy because I had grapes. I then realized what had just happened and felt.
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