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The accountant is taken aback and says, “That’s too gross. Let’s try to re-phrase that.”The woman says, “OK, I’m a high-end call girl.”“No, that still won’t work. Need something more acceptable.”They both think for a minute; then the woman says, “I’m an elite poultry farmer.”The accountant asks, “What does poultry farming have to do, with being a prostitute?”“Well, I raised a thousand cocks last year.”Chartered Acct : “Brilliant!! ‘Poultry Farmer’ it is! and Agricultural Income is tax-free.”Twelve of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on British TV and radio:1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - “This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.”2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - “Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.”3. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - “And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!”4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - “Ah, isn’t that nice. The. Am I using you? I whispered. For what? To block out Danny? To make myself feel good? Thats what a relationship is I shook my head. Youre supposed to make the other person feel good. His thumb brushed over my hand. You do make me feel good. Wanted, then I want you Ali. All on my own. Youre not Dannys. You never were. These words were enough to make me look up at him. His right hand.came to brush the tears on my face away. You barely know me. I know enough Gently, he brought his face to mine, and kissed me slowly, caressing me carefully. But careful wasnt what I wanted just then. I wanted Dave, his touch, his smell, his taste. I wanted his body to drive out every memory of Dannys body. I wanted him to linger on me like a second skin. I kissed him fiercely back, as though my lips were smouldering. My hands went to his shirt, and undid the top two buttons before he realised what I was doing. Is this what you want? he asked. I nodded, and bit my lip. If its what you want was my.
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