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The usher moves him into the second row, and the man hands the usher a quarter. Yep. 25 cents. The usher looks at the quarter in his hand, leans over and whispers “The wife did it”.A man stood outside his house after a bitter divorce and noticed a crate of beer bottles. He took out an empty bottle and smashed it onto the wall swearing “You are the reason I don’t have a wife”. He smashed the second bottle “You are the reason I don’t have children”. He smashed the third bottle “You are the reason I don’t have a job”. When he took the fourth bottle, he realized that the bottle was still SEALED and filled with beer. He said to the bottle “YOU STAND ASIDE, I KNOW YOU WERE NOT INVOLVED”.An explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of cannibals. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself “Oh God, I’m fucked”. Suddenly there is a ray of light from the sky above and a voice booms out “No, you are not fucked. Pick up that stone at. ”“How long did it take you to figure it out?” he asked.“I was a lot older. You have to realize I only had emotional connections to my folks and I always felt good in their presence. In my freshman year of high school I met a boy whom I liked and who liked me.”“Aha! Teen-aged love rears its ugly head.”“Reared it, it did indeed. I started forming that emotional bond ... and began to realize what my ability meant. I started talking to my mom about it. I was dumbstruck when she informed me that not everyone can do it, that it was something that ran in the family and that I should keep it a most deeply guarded secret.”“We need to take a different approach with Mattie,” Ron replied. “She needs to know she’s been given a gift, but along with that gift comes responsibility in how she uses it.”“Very well put.”“So, your talent does run in your family.”“Mom said it was passed from mother to daughter. Her mom was an empath, as was her grandmom. I thought Mattie would be safe.”“Your mom was wrong..
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