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Different from all the other women I’ve been with, we never fucked. We always made love. Maybe the fear of falling in love is why I resisted her. Having such strong, strange feelings was new to me. Never depending on a woman before, always feeling superior to them, and now looking to Becky to fulfill most of my sexual, emotional, and spiritual needs, wants, and desires that I never knew I needed filled, made me feel less of a man in the beginning. I just wanted to have sex without having the accountability for everything else, the commitment of being with just one women, the complexity that comes with a relationship, and the responsibility for the happiness of someone else that went along with love. Having to expose myself so openly, more terrifying than facing a linebacker on the open football field or fighting a professional heavyweight boxer in the ring, she frightened me, when she told me she loved me. As if she drove an icicle through my brain and another through my heart,. * * * The next morning Evan woke to the wonderful smells of breakfast. He stretched and got out of bed initially confused by why he was wearing blue jeans. He padded into the kitchen and kissed Cat on the neck as he wrapped his arms around her. ‘Morning, baby.’ Her voice was still low and sexy and sleepy sounding. She was wearing the same clingy off-the-shoulder long-sleeve t-shirt and jeans, now stretched out and riding low on her hips, she had been and her hair was a mess. He could barely take his eyes off her as she shuffled around the kitchen gathering plates and forks and such. She hadn’t taken her eyes off him much either. She thought he looked good with bed head. And that sleepy look made him more delicious. She was trying desperately to work up the resolve to wait until after breakfast to take him back to bed. ‘What are you trying to bribe me to do, Sweetheart?’ He grinned as he said it. ‘It’s a make-up breakfast. And I woke up hungry.’ She winked at him. ‘And to think, I.
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