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“I’ve had enough, I want a divorce!”“I can understand that,” replies her husband, “but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Jaguar in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours.” Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.“Who’s that woman with Moishe?” asks the wife.“That’s his mistress,” says her husband.“Ours is prettier,” she replies.✧ ✧ ✧A JEWISH DIVORCEA Jewish daughter says to her mother “I’m divorcing Nathan.” “All he wants is sex, sex and more sex. My vagina is now the size of a 50 cent piece when it used to be the size of a 5 cent piece.”Her mother says, “You’re married to a multi-millionaire businessman. You live in an 8 bedroom mansion. You drive a $250,000 Ferrari. You get $2,000 a week allowance. You take 6 vacations a year and you want to throw all that away over 45 cents?NOW THAT’S A JEWISH MOTHER!✧ ✧ ✧From. We packed pretty light, just a small tent, sleeping rolls, cooking supplies our clothes and fishing gear. Everything was tucked neatly into our backpacks. We hiked for almost 4 hours when we noticed it was started to get cloudy. It was close to 4 in the afternoon and we decided it may be best to pick a spot to make camp. We still had another hour to walk before we got to our favorite fishing spot, but we thought it best to finish in the morning. Before we could get the gear unpacked it started to rain. In a matter of minutes the rain became a total downpour. And it was freezing. By now the temperature had dropped to 35 and our hands were hurting from the cold. By the time we got the tent set up, neither of us had a dry spot on us. Everything was soaked. We hopped into the tent and collapsed on the ground completely exhausted and shivering. In the frenzy to get the tent set up, my mom didn't realize that her sleeping roll had been washed down the hillside, and my roll was the only.
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