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No that was wrong too,Femininity wasn't abhorrent. It was only the thought of him beingfeminine that was. The thought? Or him being? They were not thesame. Perhaps both? But if not both, which? And then the blessed thought that it did not matter now. Not somuch anyway. If he had to wear women's' clothes for the next fewmonths it did not matter. He could even let himself enjoy thetactile pleasures without relating them to a loss of masculinity.Even having false boobs did not matter. They were just there togive line and style to the clothes. They were an adjunct to thethose clothes, and not to him. It was, yes was .... he must bepositive .... it was only a temporary state of affairs.For the rest of the week, this inner conviction sustained him.Sometimes he was plagued by searing doubts, sinking back into amorass of misery; sometimes optimism coursed through him and heimagined a sure and certain route to freedom. Mostly he just hadthe feeling that the Finishing Centre on Helen's terms. Wouldn't you like that dear?I just looked at her and she knew I was not excited about having newbreasts and having them bigger was not something I was looking forwardto. Mary said don't worry about it now, that is a ways off, but youwill beg me for your new sensitive breasts, you watch.She handed me my top and mini skirt. Slipping on the top there werelittle straps on my shoulder along with my bra straps. The she handedme another top. I was confused, two tops. She heard me thinking thisand popped in to help me understand. "Paula, this is called a layeredlook. You have a pretty white stretch top and a pink stretch top too.Isn't your bustline pretty with this new look dear?" Mary, I can't wear this, my bra straps are showing. That is not good,right?" "Paula, you are a teenage girl, young and flirty. This is theyoung look, showing off your pretty lingerie is OK. All the teen girlsdo it and it looks sweet and pretty, don't you think?"Wow, I thought, showing off my underwear, showing off.
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