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Stupidly, I wondered how a bunch of condoms had managed to find their way into my septic system. Then it hit me how.My face must have showed something, because Gus and Mabel quit talking for a minute."I'm sure there's an explanation, Chad. Maybe you've had guests lately? Or maybe, uh, Amy had some friends over when you weren't there?" Really, Mabel? You think I'd have guests over long enough for them to get it on this many times? Or that my seventeen year old daughter is suddenly hosting orgies? No, there is only one explanation here."They spent another forty-five minutes talking me down before they left. I waited until they left, got some thick rubber gardening gloves, and picked the rubbers up carefully, putting them into a triple layered baggie, then into a plastic container, and putting it into the little freezer in the top of my shop fridge.Then I went in to the house to think. Fucking Bitch! A lot of things fell into place. We were done. No negotiation, no apologies. Finished.. ['And what is that gonna be like?' I wondered. 'Heaven? Hell?Reincarnation? Or none of the above?' I guessed I was about to findout...]The genie spread his big gloved hands, "Listen, Bubeleh... if it was upto me you know I'd give you all the wishes in the world. But I didn'tmake up the rules of this genie business. You got one left, and you needto word it like one wish. It's just too bad he can't survive underwater..."[Unless this already was the Afterlife. Cartoons for the rest ofeternity...]And this show was also getting hard to follow. From far away I heard themermaid say excitedly, "Then do that! Make him so he can." Hmmmmm... I suppose I could turn him into a sponge." No!" shouted the mermaid. "Like me! Make him like I am!" Your wish is my command," said the genie. Then he cheered, "Oh,FINALLY!! That's three---count 'em---THREE wishes! So long folks, you'vebeen a truly fabulous audience; And I.... am...... OUTTAHERE!!!!!!!!Black Rock Desert, here I come!!!"And to the sound of a.
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