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But then I hear the phone buzz with a text and lunge for it, almost spilling my wine. So much for not being too eager.But there’s no text.Now I hear the buzzing again. It isn’t my phone, it must be the tablet. I pick it up and see it’s his. I don’t try to snoop but the notification staring at me says too much already.Can’t wait to see you at the “gym” tonight - XOXO.That fucking asshole is cheating on me?! That’s why he hasn’t been interested in me?! I should have known with all the time at the gym now after never going when I was trying to encourage him to come with me. All this new found love of fitness, it was just sneaking out for some pussy. I down the rest of my glass of wine and open his messenger to see what else this bitch has sent him.Fucking selfies… first in skin-tight gym clothes, then lingerie, then nothing. A picture of her legs spread, finger slid inside her slit. Wish you were here. That fucking slut. She’s a skinny little bitch, a toothpick. I can’t imagine what she. . Big deal bro. .”, she casually remarked. I did not entertain those lustrous thoughts then. I still wanted her for a minute, just a minute. I wanted to kiss her. At times; I imagined her coming close to me, holding my head between her hands and kissing me. I understand my cravings, and they’re perfectly justified in one perspective. There are 2 justifications under which I find solace. One, a murderer does not become one simply by thinking of murdering someone. Two, there’s nothing ominous in a kiss.I’m not part of that society that believes in chastity until marriage, or something of the sort. It is just that I want to kiss her. Once. That moment of the night still comes in front of me at times, and I take solace over the actions I chose to take. I chose to let my rational self take over. I did the right thing. But, at times, I rue that I should’ve gone with the wind. After all, life is to be lived in the present, right? I should’ve enjoyed the present!It was a Saturday. We all.
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