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But Virginia, the point here is that my wife apparently still considers I’m cute and that she married above herself (just joking), that I’m okay despite my weird thoughts and she believes and I pose no threat to our children, or neighborhood or indeed the entire world. Our two trust me, implicitly I believe, and if I pulled them out of their gang of friends setting off to acknowledge Halloween tomorrow there would have been stamping and crying but I would have still received the familiar ‘I love you daddy’ when kissing them good night. I’d fancy they believed I’d acted like a good daddy who was always right. Oh God, don’t kids trust us so much? Well Virginal, my two children will be set free into observance of pagan-like festivity because my wife and I believe they will enjoy participating once more. They will be under the watchful eye of their mother and although they might have the pants scared off them a few times, would that really matter? Being scared is part of growing up,. He had so much faith in me, in how good I am. In how much better I could become.”Her voice grew fainter, “The depression, sure, we’d address that, the two of us. But he saw an Eva Martinez beyond that. A post-depression version that had never existed. That I had never imagined. The woman I could grow into.”Eva’s mind returned to this room, to me. She spoke clearly, calmly, directly. “Then he fucked me. I let him. Then he and a friend fucked me. I let them.”She didn’t flinch, stared me straight in the eyes, “I’m still letting them. And I don’t want to. Never did want to. He’s got me. Freddie.”In addition to the super secure window and door locks that Gene Austin installed in our loft, he personally created a little hidey-hole for me in our laundry room. He hid a phantom hinge in the wood paneling. When I pull it open, the paneling and drywall can be pushed forward and then moved to the right like a sliding pocket door. There’s metal trim at the bottom of the drywall so it won’t wear.
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