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All the effort he’s made to control his life, his environment, has come to nothing. He’s totally alone, and practically defenceless. Just a lonely old man, in a lonely old cottage, waiting for fate to dispose of him. But as he sits, he thinks some more. He thinks how stupid he’s been, to be afraid of a radio. How unlikely it is that anyone will stumble through miles of darkness, on a bleak Scottish cliff, in the pouring rain, to reach his cottage. If the villagers never bother to come out here, even on a bright summer day, why the hell would anyone else? He is too poor to rob. He is too dull to seek out. No one on earth, save him, has any reason for being out here at all. He’s allowed himself to drift into this state of mind, he decides. It’s been self-inflicted. He’s withdrawn from the world and, in doing so, lost his sense of perspective. He’s become too insular and overly self-sufficient. It’s time to change that. It’s time to stop living in the past, time to stop her from. "Iwant to charge past it. I want to put it so far behind me that I can'teven see it anymore." I suppose if the counsellor said she'd write a prescription, then shemust obviously feel it's necessary," mum rationalises."It is," I insist. "I want this more than I've ever wanted anything." Dadquietly nods his head."I guess-" he stutters, "I guess I just thought that whilst it was justyou dressing up it was a whim, but if you're going to be changingyourself physically... I said I'd accept your decision no matter what,and I stand by what I said."We spend the next few hours discussing the path my life would take. I'mso grateful that Beverly was on hand to detail exactly the steps thatwould be taken. Changing my name would be easy- now I'm sixteen, I canjust do that myself- attaining new documentation that shows me as female(such as a passport) would have to wait until official paperworkconfirming my gender change came through, and that could take anywhere upto two years. Immediate changes,.
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