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Please welcome the greatest woman in the world, Marilyn Buckman!”I turned and motioned her to come out as the audience went nuts. She gave me a look of terror, but then put a smile on her face and marched out. She kept her eyes on me, and moved a little too fast, but nobody else seemed to care. She waved at everybody as well, and then after a moment, I spoke up again. “I have to confess something here. I saw that video just a few days ago myself, and the first thing that I could think of to say to Marilyn was, ‘Wow! You got to meet Tom Selleck!’” Laughter rocked the place as I grinned at the audience. “Then it got worse, because Marilyn promptly told me that she was heading back to Hollywood, because he was a heck of a lot cuter than me and had a full head of hair.” More laughter.When the laughter died down, I kept going. “I’d love to introduce you to the next member of my family, but Charlie isn’t available. He is currently on duty, deployed overseas and defending our great nation,. I looked very good. Staring back at me was the face that could have belonged to a successful businesswoman. Short, no-nonsense haircut, dark eyes touched with shades of gold and brown and flawless skin with a touch of color on the cheeks. The only thing missing was lipstick (even I knew enough to know that lipstick was missing. "I didn't put the lipstick on hon, because it would show up too much when you leave. If you pull your cap down low, most of your face will be hidden and folks will probably not notice that you're wearing makeup. Put on the lipstick now and they're gonna know." I silently blessed her. "So what I want you to do is to pay real close attention when I show you what to do and you can put it on yourself when you get home." She showed me what to do and then gave me the tube. She also showed me what to do with my hair. "After sticking it under that cap and driving home, it's going to need a touch up." When it came time to pay her, I had the hardest time.
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