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Now, at twenty-nine, Rick had two. Brody couldn't see himself with a pet, much less a child. "They're good. Want to borrow them some time?" Brody laughed. "What, you can't return them? Lost the receipt?" "You should try it, man. I'm telling you—you think hockey's tough, try entertaining a two-year-old for a few hours." "Sorry, Rick. I'm just here to be the uncle who buys cool toys." "Slacker." "Yeah, yeah. So, what's up? Everything okay with Mom and Dad?" "Oh, yeah, fine. They're excited about flying out for Christmas. So are Amy and the kids. You sure you don’t mind putting us up?" "Since you'll be in hotels, absolutely not." Rick chuckled. "I knew there was a reason you kept that apartment. You have an excuse to limit visitors." "Damn, I didn't think anyone had figured that out." "That's why I'm the older brother. How about you? What are you doing home tonight? I thought you had a girlfriend now." "I do, but she's busy tonight." Brody explained what had happened. "I feel bad, she. .. I'm ME! I have Italian blood, Greek blood, a little Irish blood, and some Aborigine blood. What do you say to that?"The Englishman replied,"Awfully sporting of your mother, old chap!"This one is compliments of Misguided ChildA businessman was preparing to go on a long business trip, so he thought he'd buy his wife something to keep her occupied. He went to a sex shop and explained his situation. The man there said, ' Well, I don't know that I have anything that will keep her occupied for so many weeks, except ... the MagicPenis!'The husband said, 'The what'?The man repeated, 'The Magic Penis, ' and pulled out what seemed to be an ordinary dildo.The husband laughed, and said, 'It looks like a dildo!'The man then pointed to the door and said, ' Magic Penis, door!'The penis rose out of its box, darted over to the door and started pounding away at the keyhole. The whole door shook wildly with vibrations, so much so, that a crack began to form down the middle. Then the man said, 'Magic.
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