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Running a hand through her short-cropped black hair, she continued. "I just was never sure how you'd handle the news." She looked closely at me, and took a deep breath. "You're happy now?" Oh yes!" I grabbed her hand and squeezed it with both of mine. "I used to pretend you were like me! I wanted you to really be related to me, not just married to mom!" Oh honey!" She gathered me in her arms and hugged me tight. "Yes I'm related to you. I was afraid you'd hate me for making you a hermaphrodite like I am." I can't hate you!" I tried to look cross, but ended up smiling. "Mom really did mean that thing for you? She wants you to stick, your, uh, your thing in that?"Aunt Patty laughed. "You're allowed to say penis, baby girl." Her face turned really red. "Your mother and I were afraid you would be hurt if we made love late in her pregnancy when you were on the way. This was just her goofy way of telling me you're going to have a little brother or sister." She giggled. "Tell you what. If. He thinks Cheese-its are a food group and made Mtn. Dew millions of dollars last year alone after he swore up and down that it gave him super human powers. I had met Kevin two years ago after a finals week fiasco. He flirted, I waited patiently for prince charming. We’d never made out, and I was a better person for that. Kevin fashioned himself a comic book aficionado. He wasn’t as fat or as lonely as the stereotype, but he was one brazen mother fucker for peeking in on me while I did myself. I forgot about the whole naked thing and scrambled up and out of my room. Mother hen screaming, ‘Don’t forget your jacket’ as I passed through the foyer. Physical head slap. I snatched one of those thin shawl things that was supposed to look good for layering. Looks great for layering, looks ridiculous for running out of your house with no pants on. ‘Kevin Miller you sick son of a bitch!’ I yelled searching high and low for a weapon. The garden gnomes looked promising. Kevin had slipped off the.
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