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" There was the delectable aroma of roast beef emanating from the kitchen, but it wasn't anywhere it as near delectable as the essence of perfume emanating from her. I fought back the urge to reach out and take her in my arms.Instead I said, "Thank you very much for having me."Perhaps it was the choice of words with the unintentional double meaning, but she gave me a funny little sideways smile and said, "You're very welcome, I think I will be glad to have you." I think I imagined that she added, under her breath "I hope."The meal was delicious and was made even more enjoyable by stimulating small talk, punctuated by double meanings with sexual innuendos. Like, when I commented on the roast she said, "I love a good piece of meat." Or her remark that the mashed potatoes were soft and creamy like "other things" that were good to eat.By the time dinner was over, I had such a hard on I was embarrassed get up and help with clearing away the dishes. Despite my attempt to hide it, I was sure. The monkey mimed a drinking action.“They were drinking?”The monkey nodded his head.“What else?” continued the officer.The monkey pinched his fingers together, held them to his mouth and rolled his eyes.“They were smoking marijuana?”The monkey nodded.“Anything else?” asked the officer.The monkey mimed a kiss.“They were kissing too?”The monkey nodded his head.“So,” said the officer, “you’re saying they were drinking, smoking and kissing before they crashed the car?”The monkey nodded.“And what were you doing while all this was going on?”“Driving,” mimed the monkey.A couple were driving home late at night in the pouring rain when their car accidentally ran over a badger. They got out of the car to see whether it was still alive, and found that although it was very cold, the animal was still breathing. “What shall we do?” said the wife. “I know,” said the husband. “Put it between your legs to warm it up.” “But it’s all wet and it stinks!” “Well, cover the badger’s nose then!”A man strolls.
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