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Rum and ice will ruin your liver. Whiskey and ice will ruin your heart. Gin and ice will ruin your brain. Pepsi and ice will ruin your teeth. There you have it ICE is fucking lethal, lay off the ice and warn all your friends, you could save a life and don’t forget what it did to the poor old Titanic!Two old guys were sitting in the park talking when the subject turned to getting older. The first guy said “Women have all the luck when it comes to getting older”. “What do you mean?” asked the second guy. “Well” replied the first. “I can barely remember the last time I was able to get it up in bed, but my wife - she’s healthier than ever!” “Healthier? How is that?” his buddy wondered. “Years ago, when we were younger, almost every night before bed she’d get these terrible headaches”. He answered. “Now that we’re older, she hasn’t had a headache in years”. Recession beater. Wife says to husband “If you start riding that new bicycle I bought for you to work, we can get rid of the second. Through half closed eyes, I studied Dad’s face for a reaction, but he stoically continued his massage down my torso. When he reached the waistband of my sleeping pants, I knew the moment of truth had arrived. I opened my thighs a bit. Dad warmed a new handful of oil, then reached in through the loose leg hole and began to apply the warm oil to my engorged labia. With his thumb and forefinger, he sought out and found my clit, and began to tease and tweak it, then pinch and rub it. He slid two thick fingers into my pussy and continued to massage my clit with his thumb. Then, taking his fingers from my cunt, he traced his long finger down my perineum and inserted it in my ass while his thumb entered my cunt. He repeatedly withdrew and reinserted his thumb and finger in their respective holes as my hips bucked up to meet his assault. My excitement grew and grew until finally, in an overwhelming wave, it crested and crashed. Orgasms were familiar to me, but this exceeded anything I had.
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