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" I get that," she said.Paddle. Paddle. "I didn't want to grab you right out of your previous relationship." Previous is an operative term," Jen snorted. "Was over weeks ago. He ... I told 'im to get the hell out. He did, mostly." Conjugal visits?" Kinda personal there, aren't we?" Sorry. It was. Not my business." Short answer – NO! Longer answer – HELL, NO!" She looked back over her shoulder. "Threw him out. For good. Got myself smeared and sampled and tested to make sure that I didn't have any sort of Bert cooties, and I kept my legs closed."I'm parsing this and thinking 'She's telling me this. Why?' My mind ran through a list of possibilities. I couldn't think of a response that made sense, so I didn't say anything.Noting my silence, she asked "TMI?" TMI?" Too much information. Sometimes I start talking. It's nice to have somebody who listens, but you, Chuck LeBert, have a trait of not giving any feedback." Oh, well, really, Jen! What am I supposed to say to that last little. I bent over and put it back in its holster and slid the holster under the seat. Standing out by the car again I saw jumping to the Wal-Mart handicapped parking spot wasn't its only trick.Glory Hallelujah! My car had been healed. The missing front bumper was back in place and all the damage from the time my brother had drunkenly run it through the roadside nest of traffic signs was gone. Hell, the body was perfect, even the windshield was crackless again.Damn, there was a valid looking inspection sticker and license sticker down in the lower driver's side corner of the windshield too, in place of the two expired examples that had been there back when the windshield was cracked all over, about ninety seconds ago.I laughed like hell, locked the car, and walked into Wal-Mart. They were having a big sale on Ranch Style Beans and Wolf Brand Chili.I picked up two cases of chili and four of ranch style beans then rolled on and grabbed a big bag of dry dog food. No, I wasn't going to add dog.
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