No, she said to herself, I couldn't do that! But an inner voice said, "it would solve your problem." Then several voices in her head started to argue, "It would only be this once", "But I'm not that kind of girl", "If you don't, what will you tell Brian tonight?" "But I've never done anything like that before. What about little Andy?" "Little Andy is too young to know what is going on", "But I might get caught", "Brian won't be home before six-thirty, and if you don't do it, where will the food come from?"Susan bit her lower lip and then, making up her mind, she swung the stroller around and headed back the way she came. The young black man was still by the phone and she pushed the stroller up to him; taking a deep breath she said, "Do you really think I'm looking good?"The young man was caught off guard by the question, but he quickly recovered and with the bravado of youth he replied, "Good enough to eat, and then some."Susan took another deep breath and plunged on, "Good enough. ‘I’m so sorry.’ Staring at her drink, she rolled the cold surface between her palms. ‘He threatened to tell you if I testified.’ ‘You believe him?’ he asked, and then took a sip to lubricate a dry throat. Long seconds passed. Brown liquid sloshed and ice tinkled before she answered. ‘I didn’t believe it, until he told me certain things, some intimate details.’ ‘And how would you know those kind of details?’ ‘The notebook, Sam.’ She gazed outside, into her Eden. ‘Jan was very explicit.’ Her face reddened as he studied her with squinty-eyed intensity. ‘Why didn’t you tell me what Bob was going to do, so I’d be prepared?’ ‘Why do you think? Don’t act so dense.’ Her voice softened. ‘I didn’t want you to get hurt. I didn’t want Jan’s memory ruined.” In a whisper, she added, “It wasn’t fair — after all you’ve been through.’ ‘So, you thought if you drove me away I’d be happy?’ ‘No, not happy, but maybe drive you away to a safe distance. I thought Bob was bluffing and, if you didn’t go.
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