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.A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.' The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?' The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.'The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again.For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box.'The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box.He paused for a moment and then started to leave.The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, 'I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!'The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!'Lemon SqueezeThere once was a religious young woman who went toConfession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.'The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be. On the dance floor it was a free-for-all with strangers bumping and grinding into each other with a lot of “dirty dancing.” Men were free with their hands…I mean really free…and I got fondled and even kissed and it was all turning me on along with the drinks and “Boy!” it didn’t take me long to get in the mood for anything and everything. Then we walked out into the night air seeing what else was happening.We walked past a few bars that seemed to replicate where we had just been and then came to a bar with very different lighting outside. The neon lighting showed silhouettes of people and also animals…a dog, a donkey…and hubby took my hand, leading me in that direction. Maybe it was an intermission but it was very dark and quiet inside. We ordered drinks and looked around to the paintings on the walls…they were of animals in various stages interacting with humans: mostly dogs and women…the dogs, their noses in crotches…my crotch was starting to tingle…and of women petting.
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