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.. A widow.He said ... Why are married women heavier than single women?She said ... Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed.Married women come home, see what’s in bed and go to the fridge.A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, “Quick! Bring me a beer before it starts!”She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer. When he finished it, he said, “Quick! Bring me another beer! It’s gonna start!”This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer. When it was gone, he said, “Quickly! Another beer! It’s gonna start any second!””That’s it!” She blows her top. “You bastard! You waltz in here, flop your fat ass down, don’t even say hello to me and then expect me to run around like your slave! Don’t you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?”The husband sighed. “Oh shit. It’s started.”A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and. The shower was both relaxing and reviving; the urgency I'd been feeling rescinded, as did the drained sensation.What to wear was the next problem and one I'd heard that girls could spend hours deliberating over. For me it took five minutes, tops, mainly because there wasn't a lot of choice in my wardrobe.Black jeans and a lumberjack shirt were the eventual choices, I'd heard that the check shirt was back in, not that I'd ever known it was out. The only other decision to make was on footwear and that was limited to sneakers or boots.In the end I went with the boots because, after a layer of polish they didn't look too tatty, which is more than can be said for my off-white sneakers.Was I going to have to go shopping for some additions to my wardrobe?Heaven forbid, what a thought!Then again, maybe it would be fun to go shopping with Kirsty.By the time I was ready both of my parents were home and Mum was at the bottom of the stairs when I descended."My, you're looking smart," she said, a.
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