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TWO CROCODILESTwo crocodiles were sitting at the side of the swamp near the lake.The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me.We're the same age; we were the same size as kids. I just don't get it." Well," said the big Croc, "what have you been eating?" Politicians, same as you," replied the small Croc."Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?" Down the other side of the swamp near the parking lot by the Capitol." Same here. Hmm. How do you catch them?" Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out of them and eat 'em!" Ah!" says the big Crocodile, "I think I see your problem. You're not getting any real nourishment. You see, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a politician, there's nothing left but an asshole and a briefcase."The Difference between Grandpa and Grandma Have you ever wondered what the difference is. Her parents were still unsure whether she was sexually active with her boyfriend. To them, she was their prim and proper little daughter.Then her boyfriend announces he was off on holiday with friends for two weeks. This annoyed Liz, why wasn't he taking her she thought? She was miffed and sulked a little, but after a while she then realised she had two weeks to herself. Two weeks where maybe she could be a little more free with herself than usual. The holiday was a bad move for him, he really didn't see the changes that were occuring with Liz, and by going away it gave her the excuse and freedom she needed.A month or so later, her boyfriend left for his holiday on the Saturday, and Liz decided to go into town to treat herself to some new clothes. She wanted something a little more revealing, something that would clearly put her in the shop window. She purchased a very short denim skirt, and for the first time she tried on a boob tube. At first she thought it was ridiculous, as she.
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