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I was making up a foursome with an apology of a man called Dave, Charlotte’s boyfriend.Grace, being all of seven-stone dripping wet, was surprisingly strong, “Hold still, slave!”Thinking better of a night in Accident & Emergency, I relented.The lipstick felt terrible, all sticky. Grace threw a ridiculous and massive black chunky-knit jumper at me, I had a pair of black jeans, and the boots belonged to an ex, a size too big.“Right, now, let’s backcomb your hair. Lottie, the hairspray.”This was too much, “Oh fuck! Come on, guys!”Sitting in the chair, Grace made a fuss over me. I choked on wave after wave of aerosoled humiliation. My soul laid in the pit of my stomach, in a foetal position, and cried about wanting to go home.Holding the mirror, I paused for a moment. Part horrified, part bewildered, I looked at Grace; she had an odd look on her face too. It looked like pride so I gazed at the stranger in the mirror again; I looked a real horror show.“You look great Jack.”“Yeah,. That worked well, but no numbers showed up, just mason’s marks on a couple of stones. They also found no wall calendar. Reg gave up and handed the torch back to Frances.Reg switched topics.The wine cellar, Frances; do we know what is held there?”“We now have an updated list, to compare to the original inventory. Jessica and Sidra did that while they were waiting down here. Jessica says there are some discrepancies. It will be very useful for selecting what to drink.”Reg was not so blasé. “We should check the list against values. If the drug lord was setting up a wine cellar, then he probably wanted the best, and probably the most expensive.”“Come on, dear. Let’s go upstairs. We have other things to do than looking at stones.”“True. We can have a look at the stairs instead. Oh, the joys of concrete!” he laughed at his own quip.As he finished speaking, Reg’s eyes widened and he halted in his tracks. “Have you looked at the concrete stairs, Frances?”“I have seen them every time I have.
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