The kind that, if you think long enough, you'll be tempted to go up and touch them just to check if they're real, only to get slapped across the face. But I am digressing rapidly.Suzie was beautiful. She had long, perfectly tanned hair, the cutest fucking nose (if that's possible, I have yet to see any documentation on nasal sex), beautiful collagen-injected lips, and the most well defined hips and ass you can expect from someone whom I fondly remembered from my school days. Suzie would always come to school dressed in these short, tight outfits. She was always getting into trouble with the teachers who told her she dressed like a whore. She just batted her heavily made-up eyes, smacked her gum and said, "Whatever!" So poetic.So anyway, one day I was walking home from school, as I do every day. I just so happened to pass by a store named "Nikki's" where Suzie's friend Jamie worked. This has no relevance to the story whatsoever.So one of those fucked up days, I went home, backpack on. I turned off my cell, and unplugged the landline phone. I turned out the lights hopefully making it obvious to anyone outside that I was going to bed. The knocking and pleading continued for another hour. I didn't go to bed; I couldn't go to bed I was so disturbed. I sat inside in the dark living room, armed with a bottle of Jack Daniels and a glass of ice. Some drink to remember, and some to forget; I needed to forget this sordid night.At first I thought the pounding in my head stemmed from the empty bottle of Jack on the coffee table, but then I realized that it was morning and in addition to the pounding in my head, someone was also pounding on the front door. I had apparently passed out on the living room sofa.I got up and glanced out a side window and saw Don standing on my stoop, awaiting my return to the living. I opened the front door.Don stepped in, "Man, you have thrown panic into at least a half-dozen people, and I'm one of them."I just waved him into the kitchen, where I.
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