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I miss him more than anything or anyone else. I walk upstairs grudgingly to take my shower. I couldn’t stop thinking of his sweet gestures. He clouded my thoughts today instead of sitting at the back of my mind. I miss the feel of his arms around me, the feeling of having someone to kiss and hug, the feeling of his hand on mine giving it a tight squeeze, his hot breath on my neck, the moment before a kiss with him, being stupid with him, acting like a complete idiot, I miss my lover. It feels like there was a heavy weight sitting on my shoulders. The pains of my world never budged. I feel so gross and dirty. All those germs from scanning all those products that people had touched were on me. The juice from bags of meat that had spilled on my hands had dried up along with the dust from arranging things. It was gross. I strip myself of my uniform and take my hair out of its ponytail. I shake my hair out and it lays over my naked shoulders and back. I step into the shower and turn the. Another thing I liked about sitting in the back was that Fred was always there. I don’t know if Fred was really his name or not. The first time I came into the bar, he said “You can call me Fred. There’s nobody else here named that.”See, he didn’t exactly say that Fred was his name. Nor did he ever say anything about himself. He looked to be somewhere north of seventy or eighty, but with some of the new rejuvenation serums, who knows?Fred was the perfect companion at the bar. Most of the time he was silent and sullen. Usually he just sat quietly nursing a quasi-beer of some sort. He never asked about my work or anything like that. He once asked if I followed sports, but when I told him I was off planet too much to keep track of things like that, he just nodded and said, “Ummm.”The only time that Fred would brighten up was when he would ask, “What are the women like on the last planet you visited?”He always phrased it like that. He never asked which planet or how far away. He just.
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