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I started to use my fingers. My middle finger to be exact. I just flicked it a little but she wasn’t moaning at much so I went back to my tongue. ‘Ahh…. Right there do….’ She was in and out with her words. She was louder though. After about 5 more minutes she was flinching her body around. ‘Not yet baby, not yet. Don’t make me cum.’ I heard her but I wanted to please her. I wanted make her scream. But I did want it to last. My first time was going good so far. I came up, looking into her eyes, kissing her. Her juices dripping from my lips down her chin. I reached for the condom on the dresser but it fell. Before I could try to reach for the condom she grabbed my ass and placed myself inside of her in one single motion. I gasped. I couldn’t help it. It was so tight. So wet. Her whole pussy was massaging my dick. [Damn this is god’s greatest invention.] I started slow. I was a little nervous but the adrenaline was overcoming me. I grabbed the pillow going harder, faster. I could. I haven’t felt that good in years!Defense Attorney: What happened next?Little Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling so “spicy” that I just laid down and told him “Take me, young man. Take me now!”Defense Attorney: Did he take you?Little Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled, “April Fool!” And that’s when I shot him, the little bastard.Short on compliments of joevsr2 men in a bar.1st man, turning to his buddy, “How can I start to grow hair on my bald head?”2nd man, “I have found that if you stick your head between a woman’s legs, It will help” Saying this as he stroked his full beard.The following are compliments of squaddie117Young Jewish couple are having their first baby, after the birth the Doctor comes to them and says, “you have a healthy baby boy, but I’m afraid he’s been born without eyelids.”“What can we do,” moaned the father, “He can’t go through life like that?”“Don’t worry,” said the Doctor, “When we perform the ‘Brit milah’ I’ll get my friend who’s a brilliant plastic.
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