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”The driver smirked as he said ‘That’s not H2O, darling that’s K9P.”A young man was rapidly approaching his wedding day, but he didn’t have a clue how to perform. Oh he knew what to do, as his mates had told him, “Stick it in, in and out, pull it out and wipe it.” This didn’t seem right, he wanted to satisfy his new bride on the wedding night, so he went to see the old man of the town for some advice.“Well,” said the old man, “I can give you the best advice that I was given as a young’un.”“Get a piece of string, a Hapenny and some sticky tape. Stick it to the left side of your body with the coin level with your hip bone. Then every night for half an hour stand and hit the coin with your hipbone flicking your hip sideways. Come back next week and I tell you what to do next.”So off the young lad went and every night he practiced,’Hapenny, Hapenny, Hapenny’ in his mind. The next week he went to the old man again, “This time stick a Penny down to your right hip, then it’s Hapenny, Penny,. At least, I hoped I did. Gina glared backat me. We had a phrase for moments like this, stolen from the old Ren andStimpy cartoons: whizzin' on the electric fence. When someonedeliberately set out to ruin something, they're whizzin' on the electricfence. That's what we were doing and we couldn't seem to stop ourselves."Maybe we should just quit for the day," Lena said. She was crouching infront of the bass, surveying the damage. She'd already unplugged and puther guitar away."Yeah," Sarah agreed."Well, I want to know what you mean by losing my bass privileges," I saidto Lena."I mean, you'd better find your own bass." Oh. I thought you meant I was out of the band." No. I thought you quit."I frowned.She asked me, "Do you really want to quit?" No," I said, then I let out a long gust of breath and crossed my armsacross my chest. I didn't want to look at any of them. All the fighthad drained out of me and now I just felt more than a little foolish. Iwasn't going to back down. There.
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