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I finished up my scorecard and walked to the score keeper’s tent. The judge looked at my final and frowned. He went back over each hole and checked each one with the following judge. He finally looked up and said, “Congratulations Mr. Johnson that’s the best of the day by far. Good game.”My peanut gallery was all over me. One of the guys who had been my playing partner came up to shake my hand. As he viewed the two girls he asked, “Which one is yours and which one can I make a try for.”Trish and Delta each grabbed an arm, held out their left hands, and said together, “Sorry, we’re both his.”The tournament had a lot of pomp and circumstance going. The first evening was a big dinner with a bunch of certificates handed out for best drive, best hole, and longest putt. I received one for best game and best hole for my double eagle. I also was included in the goof-off group with my ugly seventeenth hole.Saturday, I started at one o’clock with two new players. I birdied the first four holes. I wanted to blame him; I had a full rant ready to go, but it was just vaguely possible the real culprit was the entire pitcher of sangria I’d finished off at the party the night before, and I was pretty sure my aching head was not going to tolerate even my own yelling anyway.“As I was saying,” that voice started up again, and I groaned as my head pounded harder, “I usually expect my Christmas presents wrapped. But I think in this case I might be willing to make an exception.”“Fuck you, Staves.” I’m nothing if not original.“I think we already covered that, Dodson. Several times, if memory serves.”I knew I was blushing, and I could only hope the strange blue light wasn’t making me look distinctly purple. My memory was serving just as well as his, despite the alcohol I’d imbibed, and he wasn’t wrong.“Would you like out from under there any time soon?” That voice was so smug I could hear the goddamned smirk, and only my desire to get out from under the tree without a bald patch kept me.
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