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One day, as my daughter and I were picking out our weekly groceries, something I enjoy just slightly more than a root canal, we passed down the magazine aisle, by all the romance novels with their busty heroines and Fabio cloned heroes on the lurid covers. I remarked, ‘I wonder how much money someone gets paid for writing that stuff?’ My daughter replied, ‘You should give it a try, Mom. You could probably knock one out in a coupla hours.’ Hmmmmm… I thought that over for awhile. Sure, I had always thought I might like to write a little something here and there. I had almost fully fleshed out plotlines for at least 3 novels in my head at any given time, one of which I STILL think would make a fabulous Lifetime TV original movie starring Melissa Gilbert and Jack Wagner. Problem was, I didn’t have a computer. And no matter how grand I thought a particular idea was, in the time it would have taken me to write it out longhand, I would have come to hate the characters and would have. .."What's the difference between a rooster and you, Fanny Annie? A rooster says, cockadoodledoo, you would say, anycockledoo". ha ha ha, I laughed.Just then I saw a tear coming out of Fanny Annie. I felt a bit guilty, but carried on insulting her anyway. The more I was insulting her the more she shed tears. I saw my carrier scooping the tears from her and she was allowing it, because her lips started to open up, and more tears were coming out. I was feeling really guilty. I saw my master insert two fingers into Fanny Annie. I suspect it was to help wipe away her tears, but the tears kept flowing. I stopped making jokes and apologised to Fanny Annie for making her cry. She kindly asked if I would go inside her. I was bemused by the comment, because I had no idea what to do. Soon enough as I got close to Fanny Annie, I started to have the same physical experiences as my carrier choking me with his hand, yet I was doing it by myself. There was no fabric to rub against. This.
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