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The guilt, however great, never stopped me from fantasizing. If I was going to turn over a new leaf, and try to be open and truly honest with my potential partners, I needed to acknowledge this part of me. Let it out, and learn how to engage it.Suddenly I realized what was so terrifying about being myself. I was petrified about letting the dominant part of me out. What if they thought I was sick. What if they laughed. Worst of all, what if I hurt somebody? Jesus. That would destroy me.But I was stuck on the horns of a dilemma. I couldn't go back to how I was, that way led nowhere, so I could only go forward, but I didn't know how to make a first step.I was contemplating that when Anna called. I hadn't realized it'd gotten so late. I hadn't eaten anything or moved from the table where Jenny sat down hours ago. Anna's suggestion of take out and movies sounded perfect. It'd been too long since we hung out, as she'd been spending a lot time with her boyfriend Robert, although, I think I. "I’m a Marketing major," I said, usingmy own major to just get through this awkward moment."Do you have any favorite performances?" I uh," I’m sweating. "I haven’t been to a professional performance." That’s more than OK," the professor said, smiling. "That will changeover the course of the semester. Thank you Nick," Her attention turned tothe student beside me.I sat down. I wanted to vent. I needed Tyler. Or Lexi. The only otheroutlet I had at this moment was - my phone. I texted Victor. "I just hadthe most awkward experience in my life."The rest of the class was a blur as I came down from my anxiety. Theprofessor dismissed the class, and I got up to flee.I was about on my way out of the classroom when the teacher stopped me."Nick?" Yeah?" I said sheepishly walking to her."Is stage fright a common problem for you?"Actually it was. I’ve always had problems giving presentations in mybusiness classes. "Yes it is," I admitted."Have you considered taking Public Speaking?" she asked..
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