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”“Well, you’ve seen what I like,” I said. “Some of it was couples having anal sex. How much worse can it be? It’s only fair I get to see the dirty secrets you have, too!”Tara laughed nervously. “Well, some of it is couples…but some are just guys, and some are more than one guy …”“Gay porn?” I said astonished. “No, not really. Just guys jacking off together. You know…tasteful.”“Wow, Tara,” I said. “I had no idea that you got off on that kind of thing. Well, let’s see it,” I said.“Really? You won’t be turned off by it? Have you ever watched this kind of porn before?” Tara looked at me with her big brown eyes.I wanted to tell her the truth – that I DID like to watch men masturbate – but I was worried it might make her think I was too perverted, so I lied. “No, I’ve never watched it before,” I said, “But I’m up for anything. I’m interested to see what you like.”“Really! Okay…” Tara got up from the couch. The long t-shirt she was wearing barely covered the bottom of her pert butt cheeks. .. But it wasn't allowed. I knew that. Now that I was old enough to act on my inclinations with any female I wanted, it seemed that the only one I wanted could not be had. The thought of other men, or boys really in our teenage social circles, staring at her and desiring her as I did, feeling the same urges as I had for years, drove me to insanity. I was the one who desired her, and yet they all had their opportunities to be with her while I never did. I learned to accept this finally, and moved on. It had not been easy, but an entire society of stigmas would eventually ward off my desires and stow them away where I no longer paid any attention to them. That is, until I saw her naked. To be fair, it was not in any way her fault. I had come home unexpected, and in our bedrooms upstairs the front door could not be heard. I knew she was home, but did not realize that she had slept in late and waited until now to take her morning shower. I had been up earlier, and our parents were long.
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