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Janice became my role model.With them in my life, I finally saw the light shining at the end of the tunnel, and my mother could do nothing about it. Janice (her fantasy daughter) was my protector. Janice could do no wrong, and if Janice wanted me there, I had to be there. Their house became my haven against the cruelties of my family, and the outside world.Ted became my image of what a real man should be like. I revolted slowly and totally against the image my father and brother presented. The mental image I have even today of a father... my father, is the image of Ted. I haven't seen him now in years, but many times during these last years, especially these last two, I wished I had had his strong caring shoulders to cry on.What changed my life forever was Janice. In the beginning of our relationship, Janice represented to me the image of what a mother and a wife should be, but she was also my image, my role model, of what a person, and a feminine woman, should be.I would like to say. Testosterone is a cruel master - and to keep it in check a wonder drugcalled spirolacetone is used. Although it's originally meant to lowerblood pressure, it wipes out testosterone in a wonderful fashion.Estradil Estradiol, a member of the 17b estrace class is another wonderdrug. When I take these pink pills four times daily I thank them deeplyfor the access to new feelings and emotion they allow. Estradiol makes itpossible to feel deeply, to experience emotion as a woman does. It makesit possible to cry, to sympathize and even to burn with righteous anger. Progesterone is an interesting drug to take. The research is unclear, butmany believe that it leads to increased breast development and sexualfeelings. Because I've used them in conjunction, I can't claim to know howmuch breast development I would have without it - but I am quite pleasedwith my pair of A cup breasts at six months. The thing that I cannot communicate strongly enough to potentialtranssexuals considering this journey.
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