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Jack, of course, was there too.It was early Christmas morning. Disconsolate and alone, I pulled the blankets back up from where I had tossed them in my futile efforts to find Abigail and lay there wracked by the awful pain of loss, saying Abigail's name over and over.I just didn't know how long I could go on with this hollowness and pain.Reverend Smith said at times like this I should pray for guidance and try to focus on some happy times with Abigail. Sometimes it worked for a little while as I got lost in the sweet memories of our love, but then it would all collapse knowing we would never have happy times again.I got out of bed and sat in the big leather chair by the window and watched the rain swept darkness, feeling the ice that gripped my soul. The clock said it was three a.m. I hadn't been asleep more than a few hours. We got back from Christmas Eve services and by the time I got Amelia settled in with Taylor, it was pretty late.Finally, I gave up and went downstairs. I walked. The primal need welling forcefully through the trunk of his body directed his limbs.Leaning against a boulder, he shucked his boots and stripped off all of his clothes. Even the heat of the afternoon couldn't penetrate his directed thoughts. Gingerly, he walked across the bank of stones with the soap in his hand. He stepped into the icy stream with barely a hiss escaping his lips. He cast about for the deepest slough he could find, carefully choosing his steps until he drew near the deep pool within the stream. He placed the soap on the dry top of an upended stone, and marched into the deeper water.Three times, he fully immersed himself. Each time he came up for air, the chant ingrained into his memory from his youth was upon his lips: "The Call to Cleanse the Soul." The third time he had stayed beneath the water until his lungs began to burn, bursting out of the water with a great heaping gasp for fresh air.As he filled his lungs again and again with fresh air, he felt soft hands.
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