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Whenever I was her, I felt right and whole. Whenever I see her in the mirror or a photo, I know she is me. And I am so glad, so very glad, I embraced myself by embracing her. Jennifer started out shy and timid – uncertain of herself and how others saw her. Not quite sure she was attractive or desirable. She began life with a pink and white wardrobe and long skirts which suggested virginal purity but did not truly reflect who she was. The first boyfriends and lovers helped end that phase. I still recall those who first flirted with me and treated me as a woman, even though they knew I was a special kind of gurl. The fact that I was different and exotic made me more attractive not less. That I worked harder at being pretty and feminine and sexy than most biological women made me even more so. Once I learned that, once I was held and kissed and admired as Jennifer, my confidence grew and I fully accepted what I wanted and who I was, and will be forever more. Being a gurl today is so. And he was already there when I got off the bus, and I was really pleased to see him. The fact that a friend of mine had told me that they'd seen him at a village fiesta with another girl didn't seem to matter. I'd forgiven him already. And as we ate our pancit and shared a coke, all I could think about was sex, sex, sex. And I couldn't help thinking how my life had changed in just a few short weeks since I'd first had sex with him in Nana's attic.So this is what romance is all about, I thought. When I'd been at the convent, I'd always thought that it was about gazing into each others eyes and holding hands. Or perhaps gently kissing after you'd known each other a few weeks. That was what the girlie magazines had told me. You did that for a year or so, they suggested, and then got married and had babies. They never told us that it was about hurrying down a meal - thinking of cock all the time - and then going to lodging house to get sorted out on a bed that thousands of other couples.
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