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I couldn’t look at them due to my blindfold. I could imagine what they looked like. “Is there anything you’d like to say to your husband to accompany these pictures, Maria?” Matteo asked.“Say this, ‘We’re hosting a small get together of important people to whom you’ve shown my nude pictures. Giovanni thought they might appreciate seeing the real thing instead of a photograph. He expects me to show every consideration to our guests. I’m sure you can appreciate what that consideration might be.’ I’m sure he’ll enjoy them.”Matteo whistled. “I’d hate to be getting pictures like this of my wife.”“I would expect photos like these would be the least of your problems should your wife ever found out what you did this weekend, Matteo.”The first knock on the door came a few minutes later.Giovanni said, “A little early, but it’s probably good they all don’t show up at once. You only have one mouth.”“You’re an asshole too, Giovanni. Just saying.”Giovanni laughed before opening the door. I heard. "Hey, bay-beh! Wonna beer?"She smirked. On her side, she leaned on an elbow and propped her head in her hand. "Oh my, what is this strange child up to?"Then I made the pencil a cigar, touting and flipping it onehanded. I propped my other hand on one hip. Then I faked the higher-pitched, tightly clipped voice and speech of the Leo Gorcey, right out of a Bowery Boys' movie."Dey call me Doubtless Dan. 'Cuz When Dan's About, There Ain't No Doubt!" I smugly pretended to straighten my tie. "Pahdon me, ladies, whilst I make myself pre-sent-able."Then I jammed my hands deep into my pajamas' pockets, stuck out my tummy to simulate a beer belly, put the pencil in one corner of my mouth, and rocked back and forth for my W.C. Fields act."I recallll when were stranded in the Andeeees. It was TERRibble, couldn't find a bottle o' whiskey anywherrre. Had to live on nothing but food and waterrr for tennnn daaayzz!"Each character brought me a step or two closer to the sofabed where she still lay.
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