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It wasn't.I remember that afternoon. My stomach knotted as though I was going to throw up. I felt a lead weight on my heart. Mostly, I felt despair. Fucked up again. The evidence was quite clear. "Clear," in fact, described the result perfectly. Virtually no detail at all in the negatives. Nothing. Zilch. Nothing I could salvage, even with the hardest highest-contrast paper I could find. It was hopeless. I felt like shit. Like failure. Dad wouldn't have approved, I'm sure of that.Just a fuckup. That's what it felt like and that's what it was. So, no, I didn't cry, but I felt like it. I solved it the way I'd solved so many similar things over the years: I cut it out of my life. I told myself it was because I was bored with it, that I hated darkroom work, that I was only doing it because Dad did it and my brother the jerk did it, and I didn't really want to do it, anyway.That wasn't entirely true, though. The fact is that while I was no Ansel Adams, I got some pretty good results.. I don’t think I was successful in hiding my agitated state because I saw her look directly at my crouch and could have sworn I heard her say, ”Uhmm.” I was under the covers when she came out in a little baby doll outfit that really showed off her thighs and her nicely shaped breasts. With the lights out I knew I was going to have to relieve myself. I had to be very quiet because mom and I shared the room. I had one queen size bed and mom the other. I waited for about ten minutes, even pretending to snore in case if mom did catch me, maybe she would think I’m doing it in my sleep. What happened next blew me away. Before I had a chance to start pumping my rod, I noticed mom slowly pulling the covers down. I continued to pretend to be asleep excited by shadowy glimpse of my mom’s legs pushing the covers the down. I made sure my breathing didn’t change so mom wouldn’t get suspicious that I was awake. Mom then pulled her panties down and raised her gown up. "Wow!" I thought! Here was.
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