Pearl began to recite the Twenty Third Psalm out of the blue, which seemed to mollify the other young woman for the moment and helped calm me. After finishing her repast, Penny suddenly ran from the room, crying again, and slammed the door behind her. I went over to Pearl and laid hand on her shoulder, she was still staring out the window toward the lake she swam in every morning with her half-sister Opal and watching the last flickers of light in the West. She covered my hand with hers but otherwise did not respond. ‘How are you, Pearl?’ ‘I’m all right,’ she began in a distant voice. ‘My father and I were never close, which is not unusual for a father and a daughter, I imagine. I remember flickers of kindness and joviality when I was small, but none after I reached the age of eight. Mother didn’t pay much attention to me, either, they sent me to a boarding school. They sent Opal as well, so I wouldn’t be lonely. When we came back, all there was for me was the library. Needlepoint. It takes all my concentration to – I don’t know – to something. Maybe it’s the alcohol and the drugs, and maybe it’s the sleep deprivation of sophomore year but Dannie is magical. My own naughty little pixie. She takes another drag off the cigarette. This time I’m ready. I make sure the brief wrenching moment that our lips touch lasts as long as possible without being too apparent. She takes a third drag, repeats and then turns towards Thomas for the next round. Her legs are once again sprawled over me. She knows how much self-control it takes for me to keep my hands off her, or well, only somewhat on her. She knows because as subtle as I am, I’m pretty transparent and as na?ve as she is, she’s not an idiot. And if all that wasn’t enough, our roommate last year had screamed at her to not take my side just because I had ?a lesbian crush? on her. I had stood there, shocked, sure something would change between Dannie and me, and said the only thing I could think of, ?I’m not a.
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