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Holding two cups of coffee. I assumed one for me. I stood next to him. He handed me one of the coffees."I ordered it just the way you like it." I whispered, barely audible"Thank you." and took a sip. Pumpkin spice, my favorite. He wrapped his arm around me."You are so beautiful." What do you want with me?" He chuckled."I already told you. You're my mate. You have the mark upon you. Satan chose you for me. He sensed the darkness in your soul. Let's face it, no 16 year old has a master. And he knows all about a few months ago." I knew exactly what he was talking about. A few months ago I had gone through a phase where I drew pentagrams all over myself. At this point we were just walking through the mall."So here's how this is going to work. Because I made that mark on you, you technically belong to me. But don't worry, I’m not going to be the "master" figure. Unless that's what you really want. Otherwise, we just have a regular relationship. But one full of passion, romance and lust.. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your MP, who has been trained to give you all the SHITyou can handle.Sincerely,The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)PS - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, The Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.This one is compliments of Alex G UN SurveyLast month, a world-wide telephone survey was conducted by the U.N.The only question asked was:-"Would you please give your honest opinion about possible solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world."The survey was a complete failure because:In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.In South America and Russia they.
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