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You will NEVER hear me whine when someone says "I don't believe you" because I don't tell tales to be believed, I tell truths, and it's of little consequence to ME if you choose to believe them or not. No lie can change it, it's immune to cynicism, and it certainly doesn't give much of a shit what anyone thinks of it.It is what it is.With that being said, let me begin the first truth:I am David.(the truth begins like all truths,...simple enough)Born in 1969, in the Denver General Hospital to Gary, and Mary at Nine Thirty three PM on November 23rd.When mom's water broke, and the contractions had begun Dad was already tipsy.Mom says dad had to stop on the way for cigs, and got so caught up in telling the cashier about my arrival that it took twenty minutes to get a damned smoke. In her impatience to get to the hospital, and Dad's inability to shut the fuck up in a crisis she got out to fetch the man.My head slid right out between her legs at the register.Fluids pooled, dad panicked,. Maina mom ko pani deya to vo phir maree pent ko ghour sa dakhtee hue boli, toona film main muth maree thee na? Mai chup raha, to vo boli koe girl friend pata la jisa ghar main la kar chod leya kar sirf muthmarna ka maza nahi hai, mom was so frank, to mai bola mom koe girl frind nahi hai, koe asee jisa toon pasand karta ho? Maina wasa he kaha mom ap bura mat mano, hain bol, mom vo ap ki friend mujah achee lagtee hai kon see vo jo kal aee thee, g mom, ara us ki age 45 hai, us main asa kaya hai? Maina mom sa bola vo bohat achee hai, chl hatt besharam maree frinds par nazar rakhta hai, or bata kiss par taree nazar hai, mom aik dam sa boli muj par be to kahean nazar nahi hai, maina ahista sa sir hain main hila deya, oh bhagwan ya kaya ho raha hai, mara son mujha gandee nazar sa dakhta hai or mai is ka ishara be nahi samjhee, mai itna saloon sa land ka intazar kar rahi thee or land toona mara ghar main he mujha da deya, u r great.Mom na mujha apni or kheench kar apni legs par betha kar.
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