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The four seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??-ORYou can retire to California where...1. You make over $450,000 and you still can’t afford to buy a house.2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.3. You know how to eat an artichoke.4. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.5. The four seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud and Drought.-OR-You can retire to New York City where...1 You say “the city” and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can’t find Wisconsin on a map.3. You think Central Park is “nature.”4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.5. You’ve worn out a car horn. (IF you have a car.)6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression-OR-You can retire to Michigan where...1. You only. Today, she adds something new to the missionary position. Not innovative, just something I haven’t seen Mom do before. She laced her fingers behind her neck.Such a small, almost effortless change, but it changes everything. Her armpits hair is exposed, a turn-on for me.This pose lifts her ribcage and her breasts lift, too. Not dormant on her rib cage or flaccidly leaning on her upper arms at her sides. They’re proud, fuller, rounder. Arrogant breasts. This pose tautens her belly, arches her spine a bit, tilts her pelvis, changes the way the fat roll on her lower abdomen meets her fat pudenda. Plumps up both. Very attractive. Very sexy. I can’t keep my hands off of her.Her knees lie flat on the mattress, at right angles to her torso. Babies can do this, but not many adults are limber enough. The corded groin tendons are very prominent, and so is her mound. Rubbing my palms over the silky skin, I express by touch, my appreciation of her exposed inner thighs and the tendons intimately.
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